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Public Access to Public Works, for the good of Korea, by the products of Chuck Norris Elementary
Stuff: Meet the Drainers(Work in progress)!
Thursday, April 29, 2004
Draining Links:
posted by
Joe Hills # 20:31
The Urban Explorers--An awesome Australian draining site with many pictures, the first site I found
Approach to Draining--The
Vietnam Primer of draining; very detailed, great if you're serious about learning about draining
Infiltration.org--Website and online edition of the magazine
Infiltration. It covers drains, catacombs, abandoned buildings, and all sorts of other awesome stuff. Be certain to check out their
Guide to Ignoring Warning Signs.
There are far more good sites out there, but those should keep you busy for a while.
Wednesday, April 28, 2004
The Oakland Meet
posted by
Joe Hills # 20:04
Many of us were looking forward to this meet for days, however, our hopes and dreams were soon crushed. Though the land was full of culverts that would have been otherwise man-accessible, they all had grates cemented over the entrances and exits. Ironically, the non-sanitary sewers had manhole covers that were very easily removed, but we weren’t going down there. Instead, we mainly monkeyed around in the metal supports that held up the away bleachers. Personal Gain, who excels at climbing anything, showed us how to climb up the back of the bleachers, then scale the fence to get into them. Our coaches got onto us for that one.
More Kenwood Notes
posted by
Joe Hills # 20:04
CrossFire, Axel Rose, and I departed from the track and walked around to the front of the school to further explore the draining infrastructure. We crossed the road and started walking down a trail in the woods which eventually became a gravel trail that overlooked the nearby residential areas. We walked down the trail a long ways, and then moved down into a valley that looked promising. We came upon a 1m diameter solid metal drain pipe that protruded from the side of the ridge a few feet above the ground. With some effort, we climbed into it, and began to ascend. As we climbed higher, we came to a small gutterbox, the overhead grate of which was covered with dirt and grass, except for one small bit that allowed a shaft of light through. After that, we began an even steeper ascent through a similarly sized spiral metal drain. Near the end, I climbed over some scattered rocks and pulled myself out of the pipe. I found myself in a ditch, looked up, and saw a fence. And then a shed. And then heard a weedwhacker. I hit the deck and edged down the ditch, keeping a low profile and allowing the others to emerge. I warned Axel Rose to keep a low profile while CrossFire checked out the guy with the weedwhacker. We were in his backyard. CrossFire watched him, then signaled for us to jump out of the ditch and follow. We made a mad dash to the road, using any available foliage for concealment, which wasn’t much.
We started jogging and ended up back in the valley with the wilderness. We went down for a while, then rose again, and after a long uphill climb, we ended up in a very surreal meadow, full of wildflowers. Axel Rose suggested we pick some, and then showed us how to tie them into bunches using the long grass that was readily available. We walked for a long time, half-joking about how surreal the meadow was and the chances we had never made it out of that drain alive. Then we walked. And walked. And walked. Things were starting to become potentially serious, when I spied the roof of the school, and we knew we had made it okay. We returned to the track and presented some of the girls on the team with flowers, right a girl from another team passed out right in front of the Chuck Norris Elementary encampment and required medical attention. I don’t know what ever happened to the flowers.
Monday, April 26, 2004
Kenwood notes.
posted by
Joe Hills # 21:28
On Saturday, at a track meet at Kenwood in Clark(e?)sville, the terrain was awesome for drianing. Though much of the area had natural runoff, we found some totally sweet drains, one of which led directly next to the track from about 30m away.
Swamp Thing CrossFire and I also hit a 1025mm 70m long spiral metal drain. I took point and was about 20m ahead of them when I head a voice from a grate just ahead of me.
Some African American sounding guy, "I think I hear vocies downt here."
His buddy, "No way, how would they get in there?"
Me, "Swamp Thing, Shh!"
The buddy, "Whoa there are people down there."
The guy, "Donatello, is that you?"
Later, I cam to the end of that drain, and found it was full of six inches of mud. I trduged through, then moved away, just in time for the cops to drive by and see me. I waved. My legs and arms were cakes with mud, and so were those of the others. We ended up crawling under a fence to get to a water fountain to clean ourselves up.
(more to come...)
The FAQ
posted by
Joe Hills # 21:13
Fact: Drains are not mammals. They do not flip out and kill people. Sometimes they stab.
Where do we drain?
Underground.
How do we drain?
First, we do a bit of recon to locate good entrances and exits.
Then, we grab our torches, and travel through the drains.
Why do we drain?
We drain for Korea.
What’s so great about Korea?
The women.
No seriously, what is "Draining For Korea?"
It’s a play on words combining, "Draining" and "Training for Korea." For the last two years or so, Palmer and I have been training for possible war on the Korean Peninsula both physically, mentally, and psychologically. Draining for Korea is taking this training to a new level, pushing ourselves to the limits in each of these respects until we are, ourselves, drained.
Isn’t draining dangerous?
Only if you don’t know what you’re doing. An ounce of prevention in advance is better than two liters of water in your lungs.
Wasn’t that a mixed metaphor?
Actually, it wasn’t really a metaphor at all. It’s more, dangeresque than anything, meaning it gives the appearance of danger without actually being dangerous. Tetanus shots are still recommended.
Aren’t sewers gross?
Well, Virginia, drains aren’t sewers where bathroom waste travel, but sanitary sewers, where rain goes. As a result, all you really have to worry about is spiders.
What does "Public Access to Public Works" mean?
It means that since the draining infrastructure of our nation is paid for by taxpayers, that taxpayers, and their dependents should be able to access said infrastructure at will.
Why do you guys always use the metric system and words like "Torches" instead of "Flashlights" and "jumpers" instead of "sweaters?"
First off, I have never used the word "jumpers" like that; I don’t even like the word "sweater."
As far as the metric system and torches go, they’re both totally sweet, and have their origin in the fact that almost all draining websites out there are Australian.
What are culverts?
Culverts are just like drains, and are totally sweet.
What the heck is up with that logo?
That logo is supposed to be a guy crawling through a drain with a torch in one hand, with the bars from the Korean Flag around it.
What’s the difference between you guys and the Aussies?
Well, the Aussie style of draining is like backpacking, you carry a ton of stuff, and walk around in huge 3 meter in diameter drains, which occasionally open into big rooms and have waterfalls and stuff. Stateside draining in our part of the country is based around moving through drains too small to stand in, carrying as little gear as possible.
What type of clothes do you wear?
Since our community is made up primarily of distance runners, our track clothes, which we aren’t afraid to get dirty.
Do you guys have a mascot?
We’re currently in negotiation with Izzy, the mascot of the 1996 Olympic Games in Atlanta, as well as high-level talks with Soviet Central Command concerning the oil situation in Siberia.
How do you get your names?
Okay, here are a couple guidelines.
1. The name consists of two nouns
2. The first word, can also be phonetically used as an adjective to modify the second noun and form a coherent phrase
Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?Probably draining. No drain, no gain.
How can I join?
First, we have to like you.
And you have to be willing to crawl through things. Small things. Such as drains.
From there, it’s just a matter of getting you a Draining for Korea T-Shirt and a cool draining name.
You guys have Draining for Korea T-Shirts?
We’re working on it. The basic plan is to have the flag on the front and our draining names on the back. I estimate that they’d be at least three times cooler than the "Class of 2004" Senior shirts I keep seeing people wearing. If not more.
Do people really ask any of these questions?
You know you’re thinking that.
Is there some sort of disclaimer about draining at your own risk?
I think it’s kind of implied that if anyone wants to crawl up a drain of their own free will, it’s on them if they get hurt or wounded.
Sunday, April 25, 2004
A bit of background
posted by
Joe Hills # 21:27
This all began on Good Friday of 2004, when my I, White Sands, and my brother, Swamp Thing, were patrolling some fields near our house. We came upon a 30m long culvert, about 1m in diameter, at the bottom of Macon Manor, a very ritzy subdivision. After a bit of debate, and a quick look at the sky, Vanya and I entered our first drain, without torches or gear, and in a few minutes, found ourselves in a gutterbox. We were hooked. The next day, we came back with Crossfire, a fellow distance runner, and he got hooked too. This began a subterranean kick that led us under buildings in the next few days to come…
As far as draining goes, though, we didn’t truly become hardcore until two days ago, a Friday.
On Thursday, I noticed a large concrete bunker type thing buried in the nearby Frasier McEwen Park, which had its lid partially knocked off by a misguided car. I looked inside and noticed some man-accessible drain entrances…that night I did some research, and the next day, during second period, two of the cadets in my ROTC class, accompanied me on a recon mission around the grounds of the park. Though I’d run through the place literally hundred of times, I had never noticed how many drains and culverts there were. We analyzed the terrain, opened grates, and even trudged through a creek or two in our attempt to mentally map the area.
After school, CrossFire, Swamp Thing, some other guys, Angel Eyes and Personal Gain, a single Korean chick, PathFinder, and I all climbed into a spiral metal drain that empties into Rock Creek. Only CrossFire and I had torches. I "walked" point, and he was on slack. The drain was decently sized, say a bit less than a meter, so we could squat walk pretty easily. Angel Eyes turned back, since he didn’t have a torch, but everyone else kept moving. We reached the concrete hub, which was almost tall enough to stand in, and relatively large. We had three choices, backtrack a couple dozen meters to the creek, move forward about ten meters through a 1m drain and emerge in a thicket, or crawl down a much smaller, but still man-accessible drain which I believed had an easy to move grate over it a few dozen meters away.
A few of the other track team members called down to sue through the hole in the roof, and I instructed them to move a metal grate a few dozen meters away, so I could use the sunlight to see how much the drain turned. It turned enough we couldn’t see the light, and while we debated, Pathfinder took the thicket route, leaving four of us to attempt the small drain.
I took point again, on all fours this time, while watching out for glass and calling hazard warnings back to everyone else. The acoustics of the pipe made communication easy, both with the other drainers and the party waiting topside at the grate.
Pathfinder, "I see a flashlight. Can you see the sun yet?"
I shut off my torch and noticed a glint of reflected light on the wall of the drain up ahead. I kept moving down the curved pipe, and saw Pathfinder’s head protruding from the roof of the drain, along with some darn bright sunlight. I reached the end and found a party of about eight other distance runners who never thought we’d make it out alive, mainly freshmen girls. They cheered. I pulled myself out of the drain, and watched as CrossFire’s hands shot out of the hole, in one, a torch, in the other, a bunch of broken glass he’d picked up along the way. Swamp Thing followed, carrying more glass, and Personal Gain, with a bit less.
We’re not just Draining. We’re making Draining safer.
We then decided to cross under the Highway of Regret, as well as the railroad tracks, on our way to recon the underpass, the lowest point in town, I don’t know where that drains to, but it looks promising.
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